Out Of The Hat
by Fabulous 32
Summary: The various lame assignments of Mr Shue. Very minor Brittana. Also see More Out Of The Hat, Even More Out Of The Hat and What More Out Of The Hat.
1. Lyrics

**I do not own Glee or any of the songs mentioned.**

McKinley Glee Club was in the middle of dance rehearsal. Not everyone in the group was pleased with Mr Shue's music choice this week as they shimmied along to "ABC" by the Jackson Five. It is true Mike had begged to do something by Michael Jackson but this certainly wasn't what he had in mind. Santana would have complained more if Brittany hadn't been so proud about memorising all the words after only the first day and, damn it, she looked so happy now bopping along. Puck however was not so reticent.

"This song sucks!"

"It really is lame." said Artie, and several other glee members nodded in agreement.

"You're not having any problem dancing along to it!" Mr Shue pointed out.

"Yeah but the lyrics suck – really truly suck." insisted Puck," ABC…123… I could write better lyrics!"

Santana suddenly notice a sudden gleam in Mr Shue's eyes. Oh no, Puck what have you done? Mr Shue was obviously planning a new assignment.

Next day the students of Glee took their seats on the choir stand as usual. Mr Shue was already sat at the piano.

"Now, Puck's comments yesterday got me thinking." He said, "You all seem to think writing songs is an easy task so I'm going to set you a new assignment. Take a popular song, any song, and using the tune, write your own lyrics. I think you'll be surprised just how difficult a task it is. Words are just as important as the tune."

Rachel and Kurt couldn't have looked happier if they tried. Santana turned to Brittany at her side, slightly concerned about how her friend would cope with this new assignment. She'd be the first to admit her best friend was definitely not the sharpest pencil in the tin but Brittany's eyes had an excited gleam.

"Do you want us to work on this after Cheerios' practice?" Santana whispered.

"No." Brittany whispered back." I know the song I want to do. I want this to be a surprise."

"Oh." was all Santana could manage. She suddenly wasn't sure if she should be worried or not.

Santana worked out her song at lunch the next day. She would do a song "Dance" to the tune of "Help" by The Beatles. She had already worked out the chorus,

"_Dance, just move your body,_

_Dance, yeah everybody_

_Dance, _

_Get off your ass and dance."_

But she was having trouble making the final adjustments to the verses. Brittany was working beside her, a crease of deep concentration on her forehead. Santana tried to peer over her shoulder to take a peek at her friends work but Brittany shielded it with her arm. The only words Santana could spot were "sexiest" and "cheerleaders" (both of which Brittany had spelt wrong).

"Do you want me to help with your spellings?" Santana asked.

"No it's okay; Kurt is going to read it before class."

"You're showing it to Kurt?"

"Yes. It's your surprise, not his!"

Now Santana was slightly more worried.

When Glee Club gathered at the end of the week everyone was clutching bundles of notes, and several students were still chewing the ends of pencils, tweaking their songs. Santana's finished song was a bit of a mess; while she was perfectly happy with the chorus the verses were proving frustratingly impossible to get right. She was also not happy about sitting alone on the back row two seats away from a slightly stressing Rachel (who was crossing whole sections out of her music notes). Brittney had entered with Kurt and sat beside him. Kurt had a massive grin on his face and kept looking at Santana. Santana was not amused. Mr Shue came in a few minutes later.

"So class how did you find the assignment?"

There was a chorus of noncommittal mumbles.

"Not as easy as it looks was it." he continued. "So who wants to go first?"

Brittany's hand shot up and she was bouncing in her chair in anticipation. Hers was the only hand. Mr Shue was surprised but stood back to let Brittany take centre stage.

"This is a song for my best friend."

Santana smiled, but it was a rigid grin, she was terrified of what Brittany was going to do next. Things got worse when Brittany began to sing.

_Santana is Coming to Town_

_CHORUS_

_You'd better watch out, you'd better not sigh._

_You'd better not pout, I'm telling you why,_

_Santana is coming to town._

_She's head of the Cheerleaders_

_She leaps and kicks and twirls_

_She really is the sexiest _

_Of all McKinley girls._

_CHORUS_

_She's hot and smart and popular;_

_And loyal to the end._

_And oh how I adore her_

_My very best-est friend!_

_CHORUS_

_So…_

When she had finished everyone clapped and everyone was grinning looking back at the Latino cheerleader. Santana, herself, felt close to tears. How could Brittany do this to her! In her head she could hear the whole school singing the song in the corridor, her life was well and truly over. She felt Brittany's eyes on her, so innocent and hopeful. Santana forced a smile,

"That was sweet, Brittany." Then she turned to the rest of the choir, "But if that song ever leaves this room you are all going to die!"


	2. That 80s Feeling

**I do not own Glee or any of the movies or music mentioned.**

Santana lay on across four chairs at the back of the choir room of McKinley High, her feet on Brittany's lap. Everyone else was slumped in their seats despondent. It had been announced that "Vocal Adrenaline" had won at Nationals (and that they had performed "Don't Stop Believing"). Mr Shue had been trying desperately all week to perk them up.

"Don't let this get you down." he insisted for the hundredth time, "We have this year's Invitational's to look forward to. We need energy and we need motivation. What we don't need is another funk!"

Santana just groaned,

"We're not in some feel good movie." she said, "We are not going to suddenly start singing and dancing our blues away."

Then Santana saw it, the gleam in Mr Shue's eye, the rubbing together of his hands. Oh god, here comes another lame assignment!

Santana and Brittany entered the choir room, their pinkies linked. They had just come from a confrontation with Miss Sylvester and Brittany was still scared and a little bewildered ("You think this is hard, try having to survive on a life raft for six months with only the right leg of an ninety year old woman for sustenance."). The Jazz band was present, a sure sign that Mr Shue had big plans for this week's assignment.

"I want you all to feel better about yourselves." he said. "Now the Eighties were the golden age of feel good movies; with a killer combination of uplifting music and memorable dance - as I shall now demonstrate."

The band started up and Mr Shue removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt slightly. He began a very energetic version of _'Footloose'_ from the movie. He even recreated some of Kevin Bacon's dance steps from the film. It was infection and soon the whole room was joining in, taking turns to show off their moves centre stage. When the song was over everyone was laughing. Santana was grinning despite herself. This assignment might not be so lame after all. Her best friend Brittney loved 80s movies, so much so that she could dance, step for step, along with most of them. They had spent many a sleepover in their youth recreating their favourite movie dances. Santana found herself looking forward to this project because it would make her friend happy, and when Brittany was happy so was Santana.

When he had got his breath back, Mr Shue then went on to explain the assignment to his newly inspired Glee Club. He put his top hat on the piano.

"Your names are in the hat. I want you in pairs to work on your own 80s movie number. So first pick your partner."

Mercedes went first; Santana's heart sank when the diva read out "Brittany." The group was gradually paired up, Tina and Quinn, Puck and Matt, Finn and Mike, Rachel and Artie. That left Santana to partner with Kurt. A prospect neither of them seemed to relish.

"Now you are on your groups." Mr Shue said," I want you to decide what film will be your inspiration. We don't want a repeat of the Ballad assignment when five of you sang _'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You'_. When you have decided write it on the white-board."

The choir broke up to sit beside their new partners. Santana was watching Brittany in excited conversation with Mercedes and not really listening to Kurt.

"We need to think of a good one first, before someone else takes it." he said, "_Chorus Line_?"

"No show tunes," said Santana," And I don't do tap."

Rachel was already at the board writing '_Dirty Dancing'_. Brittany rushed up next and wrote _'Flaissdans'_ which Mercedes then corrected to read _'Flashdance'_.

"All the good ones are going." muttered Kurt, "How about …um… _'Don't You Forget About Me' _from_ 'Breakfast Club'_"

"No John Hughes" said Santana.

Finn was next to the board and wrote _'Blues Brothers'_ and Matt came next and wrote _'Rocky'._

"There aren't any good ones left." groaned Kurt. Santana rolled her eyes,

"There are plenty!"

Quinn and Tina were in a hurried discussion obviously thinking the same as Kurt but then they suddenly both laughed out loud and hurried to the board to write '_Grease_'.

"Well what exactly do we do now." said Kurt, "We have nothing decent left to pick."

"Chill out. It's fine."

"Well what do you suggest we're going to sing? So far you've been less than constructive."

"We are going to do one of the greatest eighties musical movies of all time." said Santana calmly, "Watch Rachel kick herself."

Santana coolly walked to the whiteboard and wrote _'Fame'_. Kurt's eyes lit up and Santana was pleased to see Rachel actually slap herself on the forehead for forgetting that one.

Mr Shue had them meet him in the auditorium for the big show. Finn and Mike went first. They were both dressed as the Blues Brothers in black suits, black hats and dark shades. Finn began with the introduction from the film welcoming ladies, gentlemen and the members of the Illinois police department. Then they burst into '_Everybody Needs Somebody'_. Finn was singing and Mike was dancing all over the stage. All of Glee club joined in with the song shouting out "You, you, you!" as loud as they could. It was a great start.

Quinn and Tina stepped onto the stage next. They were both dressed in pyjamas and dressing gowns. Puck let out a loud wolf whistle. Together they both began to sing _'Look at me I'm Sandra Dee'. _At one point Tina was channelling pure Rizzo when they got to the part about Doris Day which had everyone laughing. When they were finished they received a standing ovation.

It was Santana and Kurt's turn next. The costumes Kurt had found were pure 80s, all sweatbands, legwarmers, bright leotards and leggings. When Santana began to sing,

"_Fame I'm gonna live forever,"_

She couldn't help smiling. The dance moves were infectious and soon most of Glee Club was dancing and singing along in the aisles. When they were done Mr Shue gave them both a high five.

Mercedes then took the stage alone. She looked very much a diva in a purple and pink kaftan, but there was no sign of Brittany. Mercedes began to sing _'What a Feeling'_, and then the blonde cheerleader took the stage. She was dressed like the character from _'Flashdance'_, in just a very tiny black leotard and legwarmers. All the boys were suddenly very quiet as Brittany, move for move, recreated the audition dance from the film. Brittany finished dancing before the end of the song (just as it happens in the film) and joined Mercedes in the last chorus. The boys cheered very loudly when they were done.

Puck and Matt came on next in boxing gear. Quinn returned the wolf whistle. The two boys were singing '_Eye of the Tiger'_. Together they had worked out a routine of dancing the final boxing match from the film as they sang. It looked very cool and when Puck as Rocky punched out Matt's character everybody cheered.

Finally Rachel and Artie took the stage. Things got very hushed as Rachel sang the first line of _'(I Had) The Time Of My Life'_. Brittany got very excited and grasped Santana's hand with a big smile on her face.

"They're doing our song!" she cried.

Brittney's grip was very tight and Santana suddenly found herself being dragged towards the stage.

"This isn't a good idea!" she said in a panicked whisper, but Brittney was too excited to notice. At this point Rachel had stopped singing and was glaring and them both. Santana found herself being manhandled into centre stage by her best friend. Suddenly she was torn, Brittany looked so adorably eager, and they did know this dance backwards, it was one of Brittany's favourites. Resigned, Santana gave into her best friend.

"Okay we're ready." Brittany cried to a frustrated Rachel, all Santana could do was shrug an apology. Rachel, always a trooper, began her song again. Santana assured herself she could do this without embarrassment until two seconds into the song Brittney pulled her arm up over head and ran her fingers down her side. Santana felt much more comfortable when they got into the proper Latin steps of the dance and she laughed when Brittney somersaulted off the stage and began to dance in the aisle. But then the laugh stopped, when Santana suddenly remembered the lift. They had been successful a few times, but nine times out of ten they both ended up crashing to the floor. Brittany signalled she was ready, everyone was staring in anticipation and Santana realised the only way out of this with her head held high was to the nail the lift. Totally committed to the move Santana ran to her friend, felt Brittany's strong hands on her hips and was lifted into the air. Then she concentrated on keeping her legs straight and arms out to her side. Brittany was no Patrick Swayze but managed to hold her friend above her head for long enough to get a cheer. The dance over they hugged and turned to watch Artie and Rachel finished their duet. The last song got the loudest applause of the night.

Mr Shue then stepped on the stage.

"So are we ready for the Invitational's?"

Everybody cheered in agreement.


	3. In Anothers Shoes

**I do not own any part of Glee, nor any of the music mentioned.**

Santana sat at the back of the choir room and pretended not to be interested in the argument raging between the three divas of Glee, Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes. The sounds of argument could probably be heard down the corridors of McKinley High. Mr Shue peered around the door and scowled when he saw half the room nose to nose in anger. Matt, Mike, Brittany, Artie and Tina were sat in an awkward silence but Santana was amused to see both Puck and Finn trying to come to Rachel's defence and Quinn was butting in too. The choir room fell into a brief hush when Mr Shue coughed, but the argument began again in a moment.

"Evita is a seminal musical, the perfect choice for sectionals!" demanded Rachel.

"So you can get the lead...again." muttered Quinn, while Mercedes yelled back,

"Rachel I am sick to death of your damn musical medleys, we have proved we can rock the house, we need soul."

"We need something soothing." Put in Puck.

"Just listen to Sinatra, just because you discovered you can do cheesy swing numbers." snapped Kurt.

"Can we calm down." cried an exasperated Finn.

"Says the leading man." grumbled Kurt.

Rachel turned to respond but Mr Shue interrupted.

"That is quite enough! Take your seats."

The group reluctantly returned to their chairs. Mr Shue sighed and rubbed his hands together in contemplation (something Santana had come to realise was an ominous sign that he was planning another lame assignment). He tore a sheet of paper into twelve strips and handed them out amongst the group.

"You are all caught up in your own little world. You need to learn to respect each other's skill. I want you all to write your strongest music style, what you love to sing or would love to have a chance to sing."

The room was quiet as everyone put pen to paper. Santana thought for a moment, recalling the Blondie track she had been singing to in the shower that morning and wrote 'Classic Rock'. Mr Shue went to the cupboard and came back with his top hat. He handed it to Artie.

"Put your music in the hat."

The kids obeyed, each folding their notes in half before placing them into the hat. Mr Shue then placed the hat on the piano.

"I am now going to give you a chance to step outside your comfort zone and into each other's shoes. Pick a music style from the hat, don't share it and come Friday we are going to have a concert. You are all to perform a song from your new music style."

Rachael went first and actually groaned when she read her assignment. When it came to Santana's turn she recognised the carefully drawn capitals on her note at once, Brittany! But she wasn't sure she could forgive her friend on her music choice. She looked sideways at her best friend who was frowning at her own project. In fact the only person in the room that looked happy about his music choice was Artie. Now how exactly was badass Santana expected to sing a Christmas Song in the middle of April without looking a fool?

That night Brittany texted her own predicament, she had picked rap music and was horrified by the prospect of learning all the words and saying them so fast. Santana did her best to calm her and offered a couple of suggestion. A grateful Brittany's final text read *Thanks San. I love you xxx*. Santana typed *Love you too * in her phone but after looking at the message for a moment deleted it rather than send it. Santana was getting less and less sure about using the "L" word with Brittany. She was very aware their relationship had changed but was not willing to openly admit how much. Instead she channelled her energy into making her friend happy. So Santana returned to her embarrassing music project with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Santana knew Brittany's favourite Christmas Song was "Santa Claus is coming to town", but after Mr Shue's assignment to rewrite the words of a popular song, Santana still felt a cold sweat whenever she heard the tune. Santana was just grateful Brittany's ode "Santana is coming to Town", never left Glee club. She finished a short list of Christmas Songs, making sure none of the possibilities mentioned Santa in any way, but after 20 minute she was too tired to think straight. Santana went to bed with her head swimming in jolly tunes and sugar coated lyrics.

Friday came quicker then Santana would have liked and now she was listening to Rachel belting out "Firestarter" by The Prodigy courtesy of Tina. Santana was suitably impressed, there was really nothing that girl couldn't sing. The Latino was also nervous as she was next up. Mr Shue had got them to perform in alphabetical order by first name (thanks Brittany). It had been quite a mixed bag.

Artie had got Mercedes' Soul music and started them off with a very romantic version of "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher" which he sang to Tina.

Brittany then followed with Matt's music choice Rap and performed the theme tune to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. She did forget some of the words but she dum-de-dum-ed along until she found herself again.

Finn's version of "Bad" was simply bad, especially the dance moves. The guy just couldn't moonwalk and Mike got into trouble for naming an artist rather than a style.

Kurt got Santana's Classic Rock and did a credible version of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness, enjoying a style of music that suited his soprano voice.

Matt got Puck's Swing and performed a very smooth version of "Ac-cent-tu-ate The Positive".

Mike had picked Rachel's choice, show tunes, and sang a so-so version of "Starlight Express". Santana wondered why he hadn't picked a song that would let him dance more.

Mercedes sang a Country song, "Crazy", thanks to Finn. She put Patsy Kline to shame with a fantastic performance.

Puck did a painful version of "Iron, Lion, Zion". He obviously wasn't sure whether he should put on a Jamaican accent or not – who knew Artie liked Reggae.

Quinn channelled her all her "funky" into "I Will Survive." for Kurt's choice, Disco.

Now Rachel was almost finished belting out a startling performance of Firestarter and then it would be Santana's turn.

When Rachel gave her final bow Santana stepped forward reluctantly. She hoped she'd made the right choice. Brad began the piano introduction and Santana took a deep breath and began to sing.

"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas…"

Every one turned to Brittany who confirmed it was her choice. Santana did not like the smirk that appeared on Quinn and Puck's faces but she felt confident she had made the right choice; it was only Brittany's third favourite Christmas song but Santana quite simply refused to sing "Frosty the Snowman" in public. The club applauded when she was done and Brittany gave her a standing ovation which was sweet.

Tina came last and sang Quinn's choice a Lullaby – "Hush Little Baby…"


End file.
